Do you ever find yourself constantly downplaying EXACTLY what you mean? I know I do. Ever since 'lol' was coined (in my years of adolescence), it has become a part of my language. I don't only use it when I'm texting. Sometimes when someone says something funny, but not too funny. I just say 'lol.' I think this has become a super weird habit of mine and I also think there is a bigger issue that is rooted within this concept of brushing things off or not making things look as bad as they seem.
I am not sure about you, but I totally HATE criticism and confrontation. Any topic to get people to like me 'less' really freaks me the hell out. I can choose to blame it on my various betrayals from friends or constant bullying. However, I should be old enough to stand by what I say and say what I mean.
What is something that you find yourself downplaying a lot? Is it a serious conversation that you strike up with your partner and when they seem to be getting offended or missing the point you just rush the conversation into oblivion? Or is it at work when you want to ask your boss for a raise because well, you've been there for three years and Sally who just got hired last week is making a whole two dollars more than you? Whatever the case may be, choose to stick by your words.
When I was a Junior in college I had developed quite a few friendships but there was one person who seemed to be, how do I describe this, as if they were moving on from acquaintance to friend real soon. One thing really bothered me. Whenever they would go on social media, they would make millions of posts about how they have no friends, no one to hang with or talk to, etc. That didn't necessarily make me feel bad, but it made me feel worthless. As if my presence did not matter and that this friendship was another betrayal in the making. I was a big girl by this time and I had convinced myself to stand up for myself and that if I had lost another friend it was because God simply had no room for this person in my life and that someone new was going to join my life really soon! So, I put up with the disrespect for a little while until Christmas break. She never once spoke to me during breaks even though I would message her, and on top of that, she was still on some BS about her not having any friends.
So when we were about to go back for the following semester, she messaged me and asked if I was going back to this club we joined. I told her that I wasn't, especially since I have no real friends there. When I said this, she instantly blocked me and removed me from every social media. This was how I knew, she was a fake ass girl! A real friend would have either conversed or asked me why I was feeling this way. She was quick to remove me from her life as though my friendship meant absolutely nothing to her. Well, thank goodness I said what I meant because I genuinely meant what I said! I wish that girl absolutely nothing but the best and guess what? God has placed AMAZING new friends in my life, that genuinely care about me for me!
Try standing your ground sometime this week! Email me about it, I would love to hear your amazing breakthroughs.
Keep Flourishing
XOXO -Nery
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